BUNJI & FAYANN: “ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR… (AND SOCA)”

FayAnn Lyons-Alvarez and Bunji Garlin’s “victories” in 2008 must be viewed as the shot that reverberated throughout the Soca World, silenced their critics within the Soca industry, and proved that they are a Soca farce... I mean FORCE, after all.

Please, let me - the Carnival Corbeaux - offer my sincere congratulations to these well-deserved winners. These victories reaffirmed their collective reputation as a Soca powerhouse – a position many felt was lost immediately after their marriage (oh gosh, let the people enjoy a little honeymoon time nah?). Little did the critics know that the unification of great minds is the creation of a lethal weapon (Bonnie and Clyde anyone? Sorry dey Destra – I couldn’t help the pun).

Bunji Garlin - who I would like to call the Michael Jordan of the Soca Monarch “competition” - came out of retirement in 2008 to enter the William Monroe Show and “win”. I mean, come on: did we really expect Bunji Garlin to place anywhere else but first? Please.

William Monroe knows that Garlin is a primary crowd attraction for his show and once “The Fireman” signed on the dotted line and agreed to defend his title in 2009, Monroe had to ensure that Bunji won so that the show’s main attraction was featured.

Yet, deal or no deal, this artist’s performance was fantastic. In a nutshell, it was “fiery”.

This great illusionist’s performance lived up to true Bunji Garlin style with pan man, flames, pyrotechnics, appearances by the late Maestro’s family members and a blue car suspended in mid-air (wtf?). (Yeah - I figured it out afterwards; Maestro was knocked down and killed by an automobile – thus the car).

Like an illusionist, this man craftily took the obvious away from the “judges” and the audience, and replaced it with fanfare and tantana.

Reality is - the song was in fact an old song. I know what some of you are NOW thinking: “Aren’t there rules restricting the use of old songs in competitions?” Oh – you forgot? Monroe Show = no competition + no rules!

While I totally enjoyed this man’s performance, I would like to go on record and say that it is unfortunate that he seemed to have moved away from the foundation that his career was built on.

I am not going to say that the man “get soft” because he is married, as other critics have loudly suggested. As a matter of fact, Bunji - I commend the respect that you have for women, as shown when you made Miss FayAnn Lyons an honourable woman by making her your wife and not just your “gyul”. Yet, the fact that you were branded with the title as “People’s Voice” meant that you were the one who voiced the cries of your core audience, which were the grassroots of our society who are, and still remain, the voiceless. I mean, who will speak for them now?

“I am the people’s voice/And I am the people’s choice”, you sang defiantly, holding aloft a shining samurai sword the first time you so rightfully won the Soca Monarch title singing “Smoke Fire Brigade”. Whatever happened to that fearless warrior… that defender of the people… that speaker of the cold, hard truth… that doer of right and exposer of wrongs?

You were (and still are, to some extent) immortalized by your fans who show after show come hungry and thirsty to hear you speak for them, and when you fail to deliver that, it seems to them as if you have gotten “rich and switch” or simply do not care about those issues anymore. Again, I loved your performance for Soca Monarch, but I miss the old Bunji that showed no fear and would go on Monroe’s stage and tell Monroe where to get off with his farce of a show. (Anyway, The Corbeaux did that already, time to stay focused on the Mr & Mrs Alvarez).

As a side note, I hope that HD himself did not silence you, with a phone call from bMobile. If that is the case, go on a stage, talk about it and watch bMobile lose customers. Yeah, that is how powerful your fan base is. (Btw - big up Machel Montano and the HD bus, courtesy of Republic Bank: “The One For You”, except for people who apply for loans for legitimate reasons and cyah get it unless you’re a “Soca star” who want a bus to parade in during carnival and send to car shows for rest of the year… steups!

Anyway... what was I talking about? Oh yeah – Bunji!!!

Bunji boy, one thing that you do not stick with is your wife. And you know what? I admire that.

I remember how upset you were when the announcement was made that you were the winner of the International Soca Monarch… again. You felt that FayAnn should have won, and you know what? Her performance - when compared to previous years - was impressive enough to warrant a victory (although not necessarily better than Nadia’s – I say tie de two ah dem and done!).

Nevertheless, you have to remember that if Monroe has to choose between you and your wife, it will be you. I mean, not that your wife isn’t capable of pulling magnanimous crowds, but you know that the Soca Industry is a male infested, testosterone-driven environment where women make cameos and men are the main attraction. (On this note: Big up Randy Glasgow’s “Ladies’ Night Out" with plenty men in your cast, cause women alone CLEARLY cannot have a show of their own with an all-female cast... after all - who would come and support a LADIES show, right?)

Oh gosh… focus, Corbeaux! Right – back to Bunji and FayAnn again…

As I was saying… Bunji mih boy, your wife “The Silver Surfer”, clearly took your fire and blazed her way across the stage and into the crowd on Fantastic Friday night.

My hats go off to the both of you, however, for taking your lemon and making lemonade by inciting the claim that the injustice done to your wife at Soca Monarch was only fuel for the Road come Carnival Monday and Tuesday. That was the coup that solidified your wife’s victory.

If there was any doubt about it, you took her loss and handed her the Road March. Brilliant! I know that I am known for my sarcasm, but really, it WAS truly brilliant.

As a result of this masterpiece of strategy and well-timed Public Relations, FayAnn’s song - which had already enjoyed much “love and support” on the airwaves due to her tithing of her Malta endorsement money to the mafia (read that twice if you have to) - received double or even triple the support from DJ’s and fans alike after Soca Monarch night. If you were not sure of what song was favoured to win the Road March title, the DJ’s playing on the road for kiddies Carnival the Saturday following the “competition” made it abundantly clear. There was no “Rollin”, there was no “Breathless”, there was no “My Posse” - there was nothing but “Get On”.

Personally, I am glad that she won the title. I am also happy that it was a song that people actually liked as opposed to the songs that were shoved down our throats while we were told that “this is the Road March song for the year”, even though we secretly hated them and wound up crossing the judging points annoyed and lacking energy… or just jumped and wined out of pure “bad mind” while thinking “gawd I hate dis tune” (sound familiar?).

Since when do the DJs tell masqueraders “This is the Road March song”? The most they should say is that they personally favour the song for the title, but when you have mindless cronies like Shal Marshall following orders from the Mafia (i.e. his boss), well what can be expected?

Do not underestimate the legally and spiritually sanctified alliance of FayAnn and Ian Lyons-Alvarez. These two people clearly have proven that the only way to beat a monopoly is to be a monopoly. This coupling of minds and talents systematically served a severe blow to the naysayers and stamped their command for respect in the Soca Industry. As of Carnival 2008, you two have dethroned Carl and Carol Jacob and must now be viewed as the modern day Royal Couple of the Soca Industry - even if you had to stoop to conquer. “All’s fair in love and war” (and Soca), right?

- Carnival Corbeaux Squawks.